This is my personal story with trying to get comcast internet at my new condo

So I have been trying to get comcast internet for the past week at my new condo. last night I sent a letter to Ron Germano the VP of customer service at comcast, I got a call from comcast today telling me they would like to resolve all of my problems getting service at my new condo and are willing to give me a 3 dollar a month discount. Here is the message I sent them;

I just recently purchased a condo and moved in this past Friday January 2, 2009. I have unpacked most of my belongings in the kitchen and living room, my office and my bedroom. Everything feels lovely and homey but there is one thing missing from my beloved xbox 360 equipped living room and gaming pc equipped office, intertubes! Having internets in my new home would be fantastic, that’s why I attempted to be Comcastic!

So while using friends internets, I go onto Comcast.com and attempt to order a self installation kit consisting of a Comcast cable modem so that I can have high speed internet. Assuming that I’m not a completely retarded fuck face, installing a cable modem myself sounded so easy, my new home would be rocking in no time! After having attempted to place my order on Comcast.com their website experienced an issue so I assumed that my order for the self installation kit did not go through. I was never called or emailed any confirmation on my order, which is further evidence to support my assumption that the order did not go through.

So the next few days I attempted to call 1-800-COMCAST around 10 times, each time I was presenting with a few options like press 2 for Spanish or to press 1 if you are already a current Comcast customer or 2 if you aren’t a current customer. Every series of options I attempted on the phone with their archaic message system ended in a voice telling me to “please wait” and then to call the exact same number I just called to get a hold of customer service at which time the message ends and they hang up on me. I was dreadfully pissed about this, but the plot thickens…

So after my anger calmed down a little bit after about 5 days, I was informed about a good deal for 66$ a month to get digital cable and cable internet from Comcast for 6 months from comcastoffers.com (1-866-371-1751). So I gave them a call in hopes of getting this great deal.

When I called Comcastoffers I told them I wanted the double play plan for 66$ a month (digitial cable and cable internet) and gave them my phone number, a secondary phone number to reach me at, my address, my first and last name, and my email address. After all that time on the phone with comcastoffers they ended the conversation by telling me that my request for a self installation kit was pending and that they could not order my cable internet and digital cable until it was removed from my account. They told me to call Comcast customer service at 1-888-823-4281 and tell them to clear my request for a self installation kit so that I may be able to order the double play plan I wanted.

So I called the Comcast customer service number and asked the representative to clear my account of my previous request for the self installation kit. The representative said she was not able to clear my account information, so I pleaded with her and told her of my situation at which time she put me on hold and attempted to clear the request from my account. After roughly 45 seconds she returned to inform me that she was unable to clear my account from the request and that I should call comcastoffers.com back and change my address slightly when I’m prompted to give my information again. She told me to place a “-0” at the end of my address, or to place an “a” at the end of the suite number on my condo to trick Comcast’s system into thinking that my altered address is different from the address I originally attempted to get the self installation kit with. I was appalled and asked her if there was any other alternative, she said no. So despite my best judgment I called comcastoffers back and again gave them my phone number, a secondary phone number to reach me at, my address altered with an “a” at the end of my condo’s suite number, my first and last name, and my email address. After going through all the motions once again the representative told me that my bastardized home address still had a pending request for a self installation kit on it and I would be unable to order digital cable and cable internet until that request is removed from my account. The representative told me to call Comcast customer service and to ask them to clear the request from my account, AGAIN. So I told the representative that this was the 2nd time that I have been told to do so and that the first time was not successful and the previous Comcast customer service representative told me to bastardize my home address in order to settle conflicts in the system with my address being connected with the request for a self installation kit.

At this point I was beyond angry, but was very polite to the representative and ended up calling Comcast customer service again in attempts to clear my account from the request of a self installation kit. The Comcast representative AGAIN said that they were unable to clear my account and reminded me that signing up with Comcast.com is actually a third party vendor of their services and that they would be unable to clear my account request for the self installation kit. I then asked if I was able to visit a Comcast store if I would be able to have them clear my account of the self installation kit, they said no and reminded me again that Comcast.com is a third party vendor of Comcast and that they would be unable to complete my request in person either. So at this point I was speechless, so I asked the representative “what should I do, I don’t understand”, she reassured me that in 30 days the self installation kit would be wiped from my record and at that point I would be able to sign up for the Comcast services of my choice. I then asked very abruptly “are you telling me I need to wait a whole month until I can get internet and tv cable?”, she said yes that is true. At this point I was nearly unable to control my anger, but very nicely I asked “can you please give me the number to quest and Verizon so I might be able to get internet and cable this month”, she said “I cannot give you those numbers but I’m sure you can find them in a phone book”. I then said “goodbye”.

Now in retrospect I hate ATNT for selling their online/cable/phone business to the likes of Comcast, actually Comcast upped the prices on online/cable/phone as soon as they acquired ATNT’s former business. Now Comcast continues to maintain their fixed internet cable prices by offering up to X speeds with the speeds ranging from 6 all the way to 50 mbps. It’s basically like ordering a whore under the contractual agreement that she might have all her limbs, teeth, and a vagina if you are lucky.

Dealing with Comcast has left me confused, almost too frustrated to get angry, to laugh, or to even cry. I want Comcast to burn like the dirt bag whores they are.